Parenting

Why my unborn babies are just that: unborn

on
October 22, 2013

We talk about the IT bag, that IT girl, the IT restaurant, but do you know the IT question? Every married couple knows exactly what I’m talking about. It’s the when-are-you-planning-to-have-kids question. Since day one of being married, I’ve been harassed by it and going into year number three with no offspring renders things difficult.

It seems easier to ask me about someone that doesn’t exist than ask about my current struggles. But how can I even plan on having kids when most parents today are kids themselves? I was just on the tube the other day, after work, and in my carriage was a mother with an 8-year-old girl and 2-year-old boy sitting in a stroller. All 3 stations the boy kept yelling like his life was in danger. He was not hungry nor in pain. He just loved the sound of his healthy lungs. Don’t get me wrong, I understand kids and their tantrum. It is somewhat normal. But I wouldn’t understand any mother that won’t even try to calm her kid. She was instead chatting with a friend and laughing.

I couldn’t stand it anymore and gave her a persistent bad look. She looked at me as if I was the mad one and asked me if I had a problem. I mean, where would you start? I told her, as nicely as I could, that her son is really loud, in case she didn’t notice. She started pushing her son and told him to yell even more.

Now you can understand my reluctance in bringing kids into this world? Why should they be punished to live among other kids that would think it’s normal to be violent in order to get something? My niece, who is 2, initiated me in the screaming-on-the-floor moods. But whenever we were in public during one of her session, I was really embarrassed and tried to explain to her this is not the way to act. And don’t tell me they don’t understand. There is no such thing as too early to educate. Even the worst tempers.

Some parents might tell me I’ll see how difficult it is when I’ll have my own. I might start a war of ideas, but I can’t change my mind until I’ll see an embarrassed mother just trying to cut the cord on spoiling. If I’ll do have kids, I would never disrespect the public space with my noisy child, because no stranger has done me any harm, in order for me to ruin his day. I solemnly promise.

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6 Comments
  1. Reply

    Raluca

    October 22, 2013

    well…i had similar experiences both in Italy and the UK. it seems they dont care or is in their nature. We come from different backgrounds…that s why i never forget my MP3 player. 🙂

    • Reply

      Eileen

      October 22, 2013

      You can’t imagine how I was praying for an MP3 yesterday:)))) now I put it in my bag;))

  2. Reply

    DaNa

    October 22, 2013

    Chiar dimineata mi s-a intamplat un lucru asemanator in drum spre serviciu. Eram in tramvai si la o statie a urcat o mama cu copilul ei, care nu plangea ci urla. Nu-mi venea sa cred cat era ea de calma si cum nu incerca deloc sa-l linisteasca. Noroc ca nu au mers decat doua statii…
    Sau mai sunt cazuri cand mergi la un restaurant/la o terasa si nu te poti relaxa din cauza copiilor care alearga si tipa in jurul mesei.

    • Reply

      Eileen

      October 22, 2013

      Stiu! Exact asta ma deranjeaza si pe mine. Si nu pot sa vina cu argumentul: ce sa ii faci, e copil! Pai daca e copil si stii ca face din astea, stai cu el acasa si educa-l pana nu iti mai urla in public. Nu e deloc placut sa iesi undeva cu familia sau prietenii si sa ai experiente neplacute din cauza asta. Sper ca toti parintii si viitorii parinti sa ia aminte;)

  3. Reply

    Cristina

    October 22, 2013

    It is not that bad, trust me. You simply had a bad experience and a bad day, as a result.
    Most often kids’ behavior is a reflection of how their parents behave and/or understand life.
    (i.e. the effect rather than the cause).
    As a rule, good parents bring up wonderful children, and never by chance.

    • Reply

      Eileen

      October 22, 2013

      So true!

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